To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
I am for the most part a good friend, as many of you I have been stabbed in the back and betrayed by some of my closest friends. This line makes me think of how it was when I was in high school, having that intense need to have more friends than I can count. As I got older it became clearer that happiness was not in the amount of friends I kept, but in the quality of those friendships. Within this year I have gained and let go of many friends, but I can honestly say that as of today I am satisfied with the company I keep. Last week when I went over this line, I thought this was going to be an easy one, I wouldn't have to completely watch myself to complete this then it dawned on me that I did have some work to do.
When I lost friends, most walked away from me but I also pushed some of them away. Mommies of angels can all agree that we speak a different language, when someone speaks your language you tend to talk with them more. I'm at a fragile time in my grief where I want to talk about Vayden every single day. When I'm sad, the 1st ladies to be called are my friends that have angels, when I'm having trouble potty training my 2 yr old I still contact my friends that have angels, I use them for everything including my grief. I was always quick to leave them encouraging comments or notes on face book or ask them how they were doing, but forgot to check on those friends that try desperately to understand my grief.
I forgot to share my sad and happy stories with the people who I ran to for help in the past, those who speak my second language (the normal life) I was not making them feel like there was something worthwhile in them. Last week when I noticed it I starting checking up on those friends by just leaving quick notes to say ' Thinking of You" I will continue to keep the healthy balance between the friends that speak my new language (the new normal after loss) and those who I pray will never understand what we're talking about, but be gracious enough to care.
See you next Monday for line 4 which is:
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
- Stephanie
5 comments:
What a great post & so very true. You are a awesome lady & I'm so glad your my friend. HUGS :)
Caroline
You know, I do the same most of the time. I run to my angel friends b/c I know that they will get me no matter what. Thanks for the reminder that my nonangel friends still want me there.
Lost baby parents live in a different world. Ever since I lost my child I feel there is something different in my friends who have not had that experience. Of course there is - they have not lost a child. But I keep in mind that they are still wonderful people and have a lot to offer. Thanks for reminding us all about that.
Hi Stephanie,
Wanted to let you know how sorry I am about Vayden..... this is such a terribly long and draining journey we are on.
I made Vayden a pair of Angel Wings. Please visit my blog - Angel Wings Memorial Boutique to have a look.
Strength to you.
I couldn't agree more with the "quality over quantity" statement. On another note I have said it before but I am saying it again, you have a way with words I love reading your blogs.
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