Goodbye to one year, Hello to another

In just a few days we will be saying goodbye to the year 2009 and saying hello to 2010. I would like to take this time to speak from my heart, to give thanks and to wish you all a very Happy, Healthy, and Prosperous New Year. In my heart I believe that 2010 is going to be an amazing year for pregnancy and infant loss families.

Through loss I have been so blessed to so many families. When I put my story on the Internet I never expected the support I’ve received. The sole purpose was to keep my family up to date, but in the end I made a whole new family. If you have suffered this loss, walked in these shoes, you know how important you are to my recovery as I am to yours. Thank you all, for being so kind to welcome me into your loss experience. I hope that I have blessed you or will bless you in the future. I also hope that my mission has brought the understanding that if you’ve suffered pregnancy or infant loss you are STRONG. You have made it through something that most consider unimaginable, the next time you are asked how many children you have, remember to say “I Have My Very Own Angel(s)”

Walking into 2010, My Very Own Angel has a lot going on. The 345 Teddy Bear Project will be going to another hospital in Oklahoma City in January. May is a very special month for me, this May we will be celebrating Vayden’s 1st yr in Heaven and I am currently putting together, 23 Days of May Giveaways.

Have a Happy and Safe New Year, put God first and never forget your very own angel(s).

God bless you,
Stephanie

A very Merry Christmas for all the angels

Christmas, a holiday that many angel parents dread, it's a time where your heart and your head speak to you at the same time. While your heart says "I know I'm going to be ok, and my angel is in a better place" your head is saying "I should be sad today, or I am sad but I will force on a smile to get through the one day that I once loved, Christmas" Your heart is the voice of God, and your head is the voice of Satan we must remember that although Satan's voice may be louder, he is speaking lies.

This was my first Christmas after my loss and I had many reasons to listen to my heart above my head this year. Vayden had gifts under the tree, this Christmas he received a place to rest his ashes, notes from dear friends and family, and $$$ to go towards My Very Own Angel. Those donations will allow MVOA to continue to donate Teddy Bears, send out carrying to term comfort packs and host blog and facebook giveaways. -Thank you

My mother who has been a top supporter of My Very Own Angel also was so kind to donate an additional item to be used in the carrying to term comfort packs. Now along with dark chocolate the mommy will receive a small lotion and body wash pack for her comfort. (will post pics of the new CTT packs soon) Thank you Sharon aka mom


On December 23,2009 Vayden's 7th Heavenly month marker, I went to OU Physicians MFM Prenatal Diagnostic Center to accept a donation for My Very Own Angel. Instead of the office staff doing their regular holiday gift exchange, they pooled together donations for MVOA. I am so humbled and honored that they would think of me and Vayden during this holiday season, and that they believed enough in my ministry to support it. - Thank you so much to the staff


This is Dr. K, he was my MFM specialist and the 1st person to read me the bad news, most wonder why the sight of this man doesn't make me shiver, but the truth is I respect this man so much. I know in my heart that he did everything medically possible for Vayden, he was also an amazing supporter of carrying to term in fact he was the first person to tell me "you can do it".
- Thank you Dr. K

This is Camille, she assisted Dr. K through most of my prenatal intervention, she was great about returning phone calls or emails in a timely manner, she also helped Dr. K safely stick me with about 9 needles. - Thank you Camille

This is Cathy, she helped put this donation together but more than anything she was an angel on earth. She knew how to calm a person down by cracking a joke, singing a song, or just letting you know that it will be ok. She told me that Vayden would be a very special patient and she was right. - Thank you Cathy

Here is a group of some of the nurses at OU Physicians MFM Prenatal Diagnostic Center, they are amazing and supportive. My journey of carrying to term wouldn't have been the same without the support of this medical team. - Thank you

This Christmas was great for me and my family, Vayden has an amazing Christmas in Heaven and on earth. With the support that My Very Own Angel has the 345 Teddy Bear Project will continue to offer comfort to many more families suffering infant loss. No woman should leave L&D empty handed.

4 Ways to Have A "Humbug" Christmas

I absolutely love my pastor he can always share a message with me, that I can redirect and share with grieving families.

Christmas is coming and I've seen many who would skip Christmas and wait until next year. The holiday season is a time of joy and happiness, it's a time to reflect on a year and prepare for the new one coming. The holiday season is a time for FAMILY, so when people in the family aren't there that should be there, the holiday season can be very hard. It is easy to say forget Christmas, I'm going to skip it this year, or Bah Humbug. The reality is that Christmas is something that will be around every year and skipping it can be a lot harder than accepting and remembering what Christmas is truly about Christ.

Here are 4 ways to have a humbug Christmas, if you following these 4 steps you will surely have a horrible Christmas this year and every year to come.

1.) Let circumstances determine your attitude.
- You have to learn to go with the flow. Don't go to your in laws house of your Christmas party with the mind set that you will be happy or fine as long as......
For example: I will have a great time "If" no one asks me how many children I have. It's one of the most common small talk questions for people, and being asked that question should not determine your attitude. Look at it this way, if someone asks you how many children do you have? you have the perfect opportunity to honor your angel.

2.) Wallow in worry.
- Worrying will take away the quality of life. It will consume you and the blessings in life will pass you by, you will be too busy worrying about everything. Don't worry about "it" happening again. Don't worry about the babysitter who is taking care of your living children. A little worry is okay, but to wallow in it will cause you to lose the joy in your life.

3.) Stay away from church.
- Think about how you felt when you missed church for a while and finally went back. Such a peaceful feeling and the people there made you feel like you were never gone. Church gives you a weekly attitude boost, it's very rare for someone to go to church and leave angry. Going to church will remind you that God is still in control.

4.) Hold onto the belief that "Things" will make you happy.
- The best way to put this as pastor says " We buy things we don't need, with money with don't have, to empress people we don't like" Things will only keep you happy for a short time until the next best thing comes around, that you must have.

So follow those 4 steps and you will most definitely have a humbug Christmas. However I hope none of you do.

I want to wish you all a very merry Christmas and point out one thing. Christmas in Heaven must be the best thing, because it is Jesus birthday, our babies are lucky, and although they are greatly missed, they are also very well taken care of.

Merry Christmas

Stephanie Stewart

Slow Down & Get More Rest

At church on Sunday, my pastor decided to go off his normal series sermon and speak on something that was on his heart. The Power of Living, ever since my loss I can literally turn any message, song or quote into how it pertains to me and my loss.

The message was that we need to slow down, if you’re in a hurry to do anything you will lose your joy and you will not be able to hear the voice of God, so “be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10. We were not created to constantly move and rush, yet in today’s world, relax, slow down, rest; even vacation is not in the vocabulary of many. Pastor Ron gave us 3 steps to achieve greater rest, I am going to share these steps with you and how I have personally used them in connection with grief and loss.

Step 1 – Avoid procrastination – If you say you want to do something, and then do it. In the days following my loss I set 3 simple goals for myself to assist in my healing, I needed to shower every day, drink water and eat, and give thanks to God. If I only did those 3 things at least I stuck to the goal; however those 3 simple things allowed me to do continue to do normal life duties. Had I not set those goals I may have entered into a dark place and it would have been difficult to navigate out.

Step 2 – Dump the Junk – After a loss your life, your family, and your way of thinking change. As you adjust to your new normal other things will need to change. Navigating through loss is only as good as the support that is around you, I had an amazing support network and I credit them to helping me to be where I am today. However I had to dump some junk, some friends that didn’t understand, some ways of living and ways of thinking, which were only hurting me and not helping me through my journey. Although I lost, I also gained and I have surrounded myself with positive people, a stronger faith, and a more optimistic way of thinking despite my loss.

Step 3 – Learn to accept Gods timing – We all have a time, everyone has a time to live and a time to die. I believe that life starts in the womb so even if your baby was born sleeping he/she was alive. It was Gods timing to allow me to have Vayden for 35 weeks in the womb and 3hr and 45 min in my arms, although that time is short in comparison to my life, it is what God chose for Vayden and I can accept that. Because in just 35 weeks and 3hrs and 45min I was able to learn so much about myself, Vayden, God, my faith, my family, my friends, bereaved parents, and life. The only reason I have grown from my loss is because I accepted Gods timing.

I hope you all remind yourselves often to slow down, listen to the voice of God and utilize these 3 steps to achieve greater rest.

God Bless

Holiday Promotion

Starting Monday December 7th thru Monday December 21st - My Very Own Angel will be hosting a Promotional Giveaway. Visit the online angel store and purchase any item(s) between the above dates and I will send you a photo frame angel ornament with that order.


I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, although the holidays are rough, utilize the fact that you may be around family and joyful people.

MVOA t-shirts and teddy bears are perfect gifts to ask for or to give to another mother who is grieving the loss of her very own angel during Christmas time.

(One ornament per order)