My Very Own Angel also heads off the 345 Teddy Bear Project, where every other year we donate 115 7” teddy bears wearing angel necklaces to various hospitals and prenatal diagnostic centers in sets of 3.
My Very Own Angel is also the original creator and designer of the official “I Have My Very Own Angel” T-Shirt and other soon to be announced keepsakes, to encourage women to be proud of their angels and make a statement to the world that often overlooks pregnancy and infant loss as something that “just happens”. The woman herself is a strong being to carry, birth, and take care of children, so what does that say about the unspoken and often forgotten women who suffer the loss of child against the natural order of death? It says that we have already climbed the hardest mountain, there is no sense in going back down, so climb up and keeping climbing doing good deeds, honoring your angel and practicing positive healing after such a tragic situation. Eventually you will reach the highest mountain, and you will hold your child in your arms again.
Thank you for taking the time to follow this blog and see the site, if you are a bereaved parent I can formally say I know how you feel, if you are a friend, family member, or an outsider looking in. Stay for a while check out some of the blogs we follow, view this situation from eyes of the families that have lost, I assure you, you will learn something and find a new sense of compassion.
Founder and Creator of My Very Own Angel
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Through loss I have been so blessed to so many families. When I put my story on the Internet I never expected the support I’ve received. The sole purpose was to keep my family up to date, but in the end I made a whole new family. If you have suffered this loss, walked in these shoes, you know how important you are to my recovery as I am to yours. Thank you all, for being so kind to welcome me into your loss experience. I hope that I have blessed you or will bless you in the future. I also hope that my mission has brought the understanding that if you’ve suffered pregnancy or infant loss you are STRONG. You have made it through something that most consider unimaginable, the next time you are asked how many children you have, remember to say “I Have My Very Own Angel(s)”
Walking into 2010, My Very Own Angel has a lot going on. The 345 Teddy Bear Project will be going to another hospital in Oklahoma City in January. May is a very special month for me, this May we will be celebrating Vayden’s 1st yr in Heaven and I am currently putting together, 23 Days of May Giveaways.
Have a Happy and Safe New Year, put God first and never forget your very own angel(s).
God bless you,
Saturday, December 26, 2009
This was my first Christmas after my loss and I had many reasons to listen to my heart above my head this year. Vayden had gifts under the tree, this Christmas he received a place to rest his ashes, notes from dear friends and family, and $$$ to go towards My Very Own Angel. Those donations will allow MVOA to continue to donate Teddy Bears, send out carrying to term comfort packs and host blog and facebook giveaways. -Thank you
My mother who has been a top supporter of My Very Own Angel also was so kind to donate an additional item to be used in the carrying to term comfort packs. Now along with dark chocolate the mommy will receive a small lotion and body wash pack for her comfort. (will post pics of the new CTT packs soon) Thank you Sharon aka mom
On December 23,2009 Vayden's 7th Heavenly month marker, I went to OU Physicians MFM Prenatal Diagnostic Center to accept a donation for My Very Own Angel. Instead of the office staff doing their regular holiday gift exchange, they pooled together donations for MVOA. I am so humbled and honored that they would think of me and Vayden during this holiday season, and that they believed enough in my ministry to support it. - Thank you so much to the staff
This is Dr. K, he was my MFM specialist and the 1st person to read me the bad news, most wonder why the sight of this man doesn't make me shiver, but the truth is I respect this man so much. I know in my heart that he did everything medically possible for Vayden, he was also an amazing supporter of carrying to term in fact he was the first person to tell me "you can do it".
- Thank you Dr. K
This is Camille, she assisted Dr. K through most of my prenatal intervention, she was great about returning phone calls or emails in a timely manner, she also helped Dr. K safely stick me with about 9 needles. - Thank you Camille
This is Cathy, she helped put this donation together but more than anything she was an angel on earth. She knew how to calm a person down by cracking a joke, singing a song, or just letting you know that it will be ok. She told me that Vayden would be a very special patient and she was right. - Thank you Cathy
Here is a group of some of the nurses at OU Physicians MFM Prenatal Diagnostic Center, they are amazing and supportive. My journey of carrying to term wouldn't have been the same without the support of this medical team. - Thank you
This Christmas was great for me and my family, Vayden has an amazing Christmas in Heaven and on earth. With the support that My Very Own Angel has the 345 Teddy Bear Project will continue to offer comfort to many more families suffering infant loss. No woman should leave L&D empty handed.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Christmas is coming and I've seen many who would skip Christmas and wait until next year. The holiday season is a time of joy and happiness, it's a time to reflect on a year and prepare for the new one coming. The holiday season is a time for FAMILY, so when people in the family aren't there that should be there, the holiday season can be very hard. It is easy to say forget Christmas, I'm going to skip it this year, or Bah Humbug. The reality is that Christmas is something that will be around every year and skipping it can be a lot harder than accepting and remembering what Christmas is truly about Christ.
Here are 4 ways to have a humbug Christmas, if you following these 4 steps you will surely have a horrible Christmas this year and every year to come.
1.) Let circumstances determine your attitude.
- You have to learn to go with the flow. Don't go to your in laws house of your Christmas party with the mind set that you will be happy or fine as long as......
For example: I will have a great time "If" no one asks me how many children I have. It's one of the most common small talk questions for people, and being asked that question should not determine your attitude. Look at it this way, if someone asks you how many children do you have? you have the perfect opportunity to honor your angel.
2.) Wallow in worry.
- Worrying will take away the quality of life. It will consume you and the blessings in life will pass you by, you will be too busy worrying about everything. Don't worry about "it" happening again. Don't worry about the babysitter who is taking care of your living children. A little worry is okay, but to wallow in it will cause you to lose the joy in your life.
3.) Stay away from church.
- Think about how you felt when you missed church for a while and finally went back. Such a peaceful feeling and the people there made you feel like you were never gone. Church gives you a weekly attitude boost, it's very rare for someone to go to church and leave angry. Going to church will remind you that God is still in control.
4.) Hold onto the belief that "Things" will make you happy.
- The best way to put this as pastor says " We buy things we don't need, with money with don't have, to empress people we don't like" Things will only keep you happy for a short time until the next best thing comes around, that you must have.
So follow those 4 steps and you will most definitely have a humbug Christmas. However I hope none of you do.
I want to wish you all a very merry Christmas and point out one thing. Christmas in Heaven must be the best thing, because it is Jesus birthday, our babies are lucky, and although they are greatly missed, they are also very well taken care of.
Monday, December 14, 2009
At church on Sunday, my pastor decided to go off his normal series sermon and speak on something that was on his heart. The Power of Living, ever since my loss I can literally turn any message, song or quote into how it pertains to me and my loss.
The message was that we need to slow down, if you’re in a hurry to do anything you will lose your joy and you will not be able to hear the voice of God, so “be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10. We were not created to constantly move and rush, yet in today’s world, relax, slow down, rest; even vacation is not in the vocabulary of many. Pastor Ron gave us 3 steps to achieve greater rest, I am going to share these steps with you and how I have personally used them in connection with grief and loss.
Step 1 – Avoid procrastination – If you say you want to do something, and then do it. In the days following my loss I set 3 simple goals for myself to assist in my healing, I needed to shower every day, drink water and eat, and give thanks to God. If I only did those 3 things at least I stuck to the goal; however those 3 simple things allowed me to do continue to do normal life duties. Had I not set those goals I may have entered into a dark place and it would have been difficult to navigate out.
Step 2 – Dump the Junk – After a loss your life, your family, and your way of thinking change. As you adjust to your new normal other things will need to change. Navigating through loss is only as good as the support that is around you, I had an amazing support network and I credit them to helping me to be where I am today. However I had to dump some junk, some friends that didn’t understand, some ways of living and ways of thinking, which were only hurting me and not helping me through my journey. Although I lost, I also gained and I have surrounded myself with positive people, a stronger faith, and a more optimistic way of thinking despite my loss.
Step 3 – Learn to accept Gods timing – We all have a time, everyone has a time to live and a time to die. I believe that life starts in the womb so even if your baby was born sleeping he/she was alive. It was Gods timing to allow me to have Vayden for 35 weeks in the womb and 3hr and 45 min in my arms, although that time is short in comparison to my life, it is what God chose for Vayden and I can accept that. Because in just 35 weeks and 3hrs and 45min I was able to learn so much about myself, Vayden, God, my faith, my family, my friends, bereaved parents, and life. The only reason I have grown from my loss is because I accepted Gods timing.
I hope you all remind yourselves often to slow down, listen to the voice of God and utilize these 3 steps to achieve greater rest.
Friday, December 4, 2009
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, although the holidays are rough, utilize the fact that you may be around family and joyful people.
MVOA t-shirts and teddy bears are perfect gifts to ask for or to give to another mother who is grieving the loss of her very own angel during Christmas time.
(One ornament per order)