At church on Sunday, my pastor decided to go off his normal series sermon and speak on something that was on his heart. The Power of Living, ever since my loss I can literally turn any message, song or quote into how it pertains to me and my loss.
The message was that we need to slow down, if you’re in a hurry to do anything you will lose your joy and you will not be able to hear the voice of God, so “be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10. We were not created to constantly move and rush, yet in today’s world, relax, slow down, rest; even vacation is not in the vocabulary of many. Pastor Ron gave us 3 steps to achieve greater rest, I am going to share these steps with you and how I have personally used them in connection with grief and loss.
Step 1 – Avoid procrastination – If you say you want to do something, and then do it. In the days following my loss I set 3 simple goals for myself to assist in my healing, I needed to shower every day, drink water and eat, and give thanks to God. If I only did those 3 things at least I stuck to the goal; however those 3 simple things allowed me to do continue to do normal life duties. Had I not set those goals I may have entered into a dark place and it would have been difficult to navigate out.
Step 2 – Dump the Junk – After a loss your life, your family, and your way of thinking change. As you adjust to your new normal other things will need to change. Navigating through loss is only as good as the support that is around you, I had an amazing support network and I credit them to helping me to be where I am today. However I had to dump some junk, some friends that didn’t understand, some ways of living and ways of thinking, which were only hurting me and not helping me through my journey. Although I lost, I also gained and I have surrounded myself with positive people, a stronger faith, and a more optimistic way of thinking despite my loss.
Step 3 – Learn to accept Gods timing – We all have a time, everyone has a time to live and a time to die. I believe that life starts in the womb so even if your baby was born sleeping he/she was alive. It was Gods timing to allow me to have Vayden for 35 weeks in the womb and 3hr and 45 min in my arms, although that time is short in comparison to my life, it is what God chose for Vayden and I can accept that. Because in just 35 weeks and 3hrs and 45min I was able to learn so much about myself, Vayden, God, my faith, my family, my friends, bereaved parents, and life. The only reason I have grown from my loss is because I accepted Gods timing.
I hope you all remind yourselves often to slow down, listen to the voice of God and utilize these 3 steps to achieve greater rest.